There are some great perks in getting old...we're very lucky people!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in us.
2. In a hostage situation, we are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects us to run -- anywhere.
4. Our friends call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now will never wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9.. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list to.
And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:Never, NEVER, NEVER , Under any circumstances, Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
and of course we keep telling all those same old jokes specially at surfers reunions
Two blondes walk into a building --- you'd think at least one of them would have seen it...ha ha ha
Mr Wordley says...'Doc, I can't stop singing: 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
Doc says, 'That sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. '
'Is it common, doc?'
'Well, it's not unusual.'
Dave Boyd takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'
'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said.... 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, so go for it.'
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese. It's either my mum or my Dad --- or my older brother Colin --- or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu --- but I think it's Colin.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today said Chris Frazerhurst. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' I thought that was really nice.
Ian Butt walked into the doctor's,.... he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'
Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues!
and as we reach the twilight years together....
60s kids finally grow up!
Surfers 'mana'...( obituary to IZ ) 'Aloha'..
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